I have mentioned previously that I have five (biological) children. I’ve been pregnant five times, had morning sickness, cravings, braxton hicks, and weight gain to name a few, and given birth, did I say, five times.
It’s my claim to fame, my excuse for my mom bod, and who/what I blame most any physical or mental ailment. Oh, that saggy skin, my kids fault…Mom brain, kids…sleeping in, kids–making up for lost time. What would I say about all these faults (and more) if I didn’t have my five beautiful children?
Needless to say, I did have fairly easy pregnancies. I thought I was emotionally well balanced and kind, not given to mood swings or excessive craziness. Hmmmmm…..
Before the birth of my second child my mother came to stay with us to help out when the baby was born. She came a week before my due date and was going to stay a couple weeks total. I already had a toddler and wondered how I was going to manage with two little ones.
My mom and I would power walk in the evening when my husband got home from work, so we didn’t have to haul the stroller anywhere. I would get home and have contractions all night, but it never turned into any serious labor.
My due date came and went. I didn’t sleep for months… okay, it seemed like months. I didn’t sleep for a couple weeks as I was awake all night with these contractions, wondering if I was in labor.
My mom watched me like a hawk. Any time I twinged, she’d say, “Are you having a contraction? Are you in labor?” I think she knew her time was running short and I better get this baby born if I was going to have any help. But it didn’t help me. I was already on edge, sleep deprived and trying to take care of my family, which at this time consisted of my husband, my brother who lived with us, my mom, and a toddler.
I went into the hospital with false labor and they had me stay and gave me something to help me sleep. Honey, if you don’t get some sleep, you won’t have the energy to have this baby. I actually slept.
I woke up the next morning and the sun was shining on a Minnesota winter! I thought I heard the birds singing. Delusional but a good sign. I remember thinking, This is what normal people actually feel like. I went home and in a couple of days I went into actual labor and 45 minutes later, out came a beautiful baby girl. She took her time making an entrance into this world, but when she did, it was NOW.
My mom had one day left to help take care of us then I was on my own. We were both disappointed when she had to leave.
Later my brother said to me, “Did you apologize to mom?”
“You told her she was a terrible cook and mother.”
“What?! Why would I say that?”
“No way. I’m calling her. I couldn’t have said that.”
Now my mom isn’t the greatest cook in the world but I have fond memories of my favorite foods she made us when I was growing up. And she wasn’t a terrible mother. Why would I say that? And why wouldn’t I remember?
“Mom, when you were here did I say you were a terrible cook and mother?”
“Yes, but it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”
What the &$#@ is wrong with me? How could I say that and not remember? And why? My poor mother–and probably anyone else in my scope of influence at the time.
So remember, nine months pregnant…. Complete cognitive black outs and contrary outbursts are normal… I think. At least for me. And the ones who are around when you’re 9 months pregnant, those who still love you, give them a hug and say you’re sorry. Cover your bases. You never know (unless you have a little brother who tells you.) Thanks, mom, I’m so sorry, and I love you.